Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
