Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
