There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
