Plan B is the new Plan A
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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