she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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