I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
