HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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