return my video game
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
