apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
