Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
