Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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