You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
