no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
