I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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