I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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