You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
