I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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