So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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