I need help removing her.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
God, I missed his penis.
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