i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
