If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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