This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
