Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
