yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
