At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
