Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
