Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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