I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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