they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
