I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
