i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
