I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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