you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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