OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
