I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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