Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
