Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
