he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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