3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she woke up with a sticky ear
it's like iHOP with fire
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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