There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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