So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
