I can tuck mytits in my pants
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
