I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
