We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Everclear isn't food dammit
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
