I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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