Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
