she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
