Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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