I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
