Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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