wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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