roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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